


Hollow

by Lunatasha



Category: Bleach
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Bad Decisions, F/M, Feelings, Rough Sex, like bad decisions all round and nowhere near enough talking about them
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-12 09:47:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29133549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunatasha/pseuds/Lunatasha
Summary: Toshiro froze at the language, felt his blood heat up, his eyes narrowed. “She's not yours.”“Oh she is. And I'm hers, we're inseparable after all, part of each other.” She inched forward, spoke lowly into his ear. “If you want her, you'll have to deal with me too.”
Relationships: Hitsugaya Toushirou/Kurosaki Karin
Comments: 5
Kudos: 29





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so Baekhyun's 'Psycho' came on while I was contemplating HitsuKarin (as you do) and accidentally spawned this entire thing. Whoops? I'm still very much working on Wrong Number but this fic wouldn't leave me alone, like it's already all plotted out and everything. Speaking of, this isn't gonna be fluffy and it doesn't really end happy either (I wouldn't say it ends badly either though, just not happy), if that isn't your thing I'd probably give this one a skip!

Toshiro froze as he sped round the corner, almost tripping over himself as he watched the large hollow he had been hunting down fall to pieces. He sheathed his zanpakto as he waited for the dust and blood and god knows what else settle, eyes focused on the figure in the middle. His guard went back up as he realised it wasn't the usual Karakura-stationed shinigami he was expecting. The figure looked...relatively human, the only thing throwing him off being the long claw-like nails that he could see even from this distance. A woman he realised, now that the air was clearer, on the taller side, toned with muscle, hair up in a ponytail.

_  
Wait_.

  
Toshiro's eyes widened and his heart rate picked up as he realised. He knew that figure. “Karin?”

  
She turned her head towards him. “Not quite.”

  
His hand instinctively shot back to his zanpakto at the sight of her, blood red eyes and a hollow mask covering the lower half of her face, distinctive teeth decorating it.

  
She laughed unkindly, turning to face him properly, retracting her claws as she went. “What are you gonna do with that?” She walked closer to him. “You think you can kill me? Knowing she's in here with me?” He tightened his grip on the hilt, prepared to go on the defensive as he watched her walk closer still, until she was right in front of him. He could tell she was grinning behind the mask. “You're not gonna do shit.”

  
Toshiro stared her in the eyes, not trusting to look away. “What happened to her? Since when did she have...Since when were _you_ around?”

  
She took her eyes away from his as she pretended to think. “Hmm...the whole time?” She grinned at him again. “I just wasn't very active till she got enough reiatsu.”

  
“Why did you take over her?”

  
She leaned forward a little, into his personal space, an eyebrow arched. “Take over her? I've never needed to, she lets me out.”

  
Toshiro took a step back, confusion written all over his face. “What? You're lying, why would she-”

  
She laughed again. “Because she's not stupid.” She stepped forward to meet him again. “And I'm not that bad. She doesn't see me as this evil monster, more...a personification of her instinctual self? I think it was you, wasn't it? Who told her what hollows actually were, that they're people who have lost their hearts, their minds and have devolved into pure instinct.”

  
Toshiro didn't say anything, just continued to stare at her and waited for her to continue.

  
She took the cue. “It was rough at first, obviously, and she still kinda hates that I'm around, but she figured out long ago that trying to fight against your own instincts is pretty stupid. Not that she just lets me do whatever I want, but we have an agreement.”

  
“An agreement?”

  
“An agreement. We talk, she listens to me, doesn't mean she'll follow all of my suggestions, but she'll listen to some of them. And that helps. I don't feel like I'm gonna go out of my mind with need all the time you know?”

  
Toshiro's eyes narrowed. “What does that mean exactly?”

  
She smirked and leaned into his space again. “What do you think it means? She doesn't let me go around murdering people if that's what you're worried about. We don't actually have much of kill instinct unless it's necessary. I think that helped her come to terms with all this.”

  
“So what _does_ she let you do?”

  
“Oh let _me_ do? Not much, she really only lets me out for fighting hollows. The rest of it she does herself, at my suggestion, but it still helps, I feel everything she feels, I experience everything she does.”

  
“Isn't that still you controlling her?”

  
Surprise took over her face. “Control? Karin? She can't be controlled, neither can I. We made space for each other, it was either that or tear each other apart. It's still stuff she wants to do, she only turns me down if it's a bad idea because of consequences.”

  
Toshiro shook his head, confused. “What could you possibly suggest that she'd want to do?”

  
Another grin, more predatory this time. Toshiro felt a chill go down his spine. “Anything to do with human instincts? Food's the easiest, she pretty much just lets herself eat whatever, she exercises enough that it isn't too much of an issue. The urge to fight when someone's annoying? Easily dealt with by going to a martial arts session and letting it out on the biggest asshole in the class. The urge to fuck? Even easier to deal with. She's never had to try very hard to get someone she wants into bed.”

  
He stared at her for a moment, eyes wide.

  
A moment more, before finally finding his voice again. “Thats...That's not safe.”

  
“Safe? We take precautions.”

  
Toshiro looked away from her for the first time, embarrassed by the genuine curiosity in her voice. “What if she ends up with someone trying to take advantage of her? Or hurt her?”

  
She smirked. “I'd never let them. I don't let people hurt what's mine.”

  
Toshiro froze at the language, felt his blood heat up, his eyes narrowed. “She's not yours.”

  
“Oh she is. And I'm hers, we're inseparable after all, part of each other.” She inched forward, spoke lowly into his ear. “If you want her, you'll have to deal with me too.”

  
Toshiro flinched backwards, glaring at her. “What are you talking about?”

  
The predatory grin was back. “See, the great thing, being pure instinct, is that I'm great at reading people. Your eyes changed the second I talked about fucking, you've been breathing heavier, your grip on your sword got tighter-”

  
“Because you're infuriating!”

  
“Because you want her _._ You're mad at me because I encouraged her to fuck people who weren't you. I know you've had a crush on her forever. Not that she believes me when I tell her, but still. But come on, what are we supposed to do when you're never around?”

  
Toshiro struggled to process her words. “Wha-, what would me being around change?”

  
She raised a judgemental eyebrow at him. “A lot? It would be so much easier to convince her. She's adamant about not doing anything because she doesn't want to ruin what you guys have, but she wants you so bad.”

  
Toshiro stared at her again. Reminded himself that just because it was coming out of Karin's mouth it didn't mean it was her thoughts. “If...If Karin's adamant about not doing anything then what the hell are _you_ doing?”

  
She shrugged. “Seizing an opportunity. I think she's being dumb. She wants you for _everything_ you know. She wants to keep you.”

  
Toshiro swallowed. “Keep me?”

  
“Yes.” She stepped towards him and slid a hand round his neck, grinning as she heard his breath hitch. “She wants to keep you, which means I want to keep you, _we_ want to keep you. So seeing as I was loose, and you ran into me anyway, I figured I'd...test you.”

  
Toshiro locked his eyes onto hers. “Test me?”

  
She placed her other hand on his neck, cradling his head now, keeping his eyes on her. “To see how you'd handle the darker parts of her.”

  
“Meaning you.”

  
“Exactly. If we were to get together, permanently, you'd have to deal with this side of her, me, at some point, in some way. You'd have to be ok with the fact that her instincts are a little closer to the surface than most.” She smirked at him again. “I don't think it'll be a problem though.”

  
“No?”

  
“Given that your response to me was to get aroused enough that you, a shinigami, don't even care that a hollow has got your _neck_ in her hands,” she grinned as she watched him flush in response, trying to stutter out denials, “I don't think you have too much of an issue with me being around.”

  
“I-I'm not-”

  
“You _are_. And I've barely done anything.”

  
He pushed away from her, bright red and embarrassed, but not trusting her enough to look away from her despite all that.

  
She only laughed. “Don't worry, I won't actually do anything. I don't know how she'd feel if _I_ fucked you, especially for the first time and all.”

  
“She...She doesn't know what's happening right now? She isn't saying anything right now?”

  
She laughed again, gleeful this time. “Oh she knows. She was screaming at me earlier, telling me to stop, usually I do listen but this was important, I wanted to make sure you wouldn't hurt her.”

  
Toshiro eyes narrowed, feeling wary. “And now?”

  
“She got a little distracted watching your reactions. Got turned on. All she can think about right now is wrecking you. Of course, that could be because that's pretty much all _I'm_ thinking about.” She grinned at the deepening blush on his face. “Unfortunately, as tempting at that is, I know you two should probably work out some shit first huh? I'll give her back to you. _Don't_ fuck this up, or I'll hurt you, got it?”

  
He had no idea how to feel about any of that, but he found himself nodding anyway.

  
“Good.”

  
Still reeling from the entire exchange, Toshiro stayed where he was and watched the hollow mask slowly dissipate from Karin's face. Watched, tensing up, stomach dropping, as her expression morphed from sharp confidence to hurt and humiliated. She was shaking. Her eyes were fixed onto the ground. He took a step towards her, wanted to console her, freezing when she immediately took a step back, head shooting up with wet eyes, pain etched all over her features.

  
“Karin-”

  
She looked away from him again, shaking her head. “I- I gotta go.”

  
He lurched forward and grabbed her wrist. “Karin.”

  
“ _Don't_ ,” she wrenched her arm out of his grip, tears finally falling down her face. “I can't, I can't do this. I can't...This was never...I didn't...” Her chest heaved as she sobbed. “I gotta go.”

  
Toshiro watched, grief-stricken, as she ran away from him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this is like watching a trainwreck like I know it's gonna be terrible and yet I cannot pull away! Thank you so much for all your comments and your kudos and your interest!! I'm glad it's not just me in this wild ride :') I hope you you enjoy this chapter!

Toshiro breathed a heavy sigh as he watched his call go to voicemail yet again, not bothering to leave a message this time. He's not sure what else he could say that he hadn't already left in Karin's phone at this point. He hadn't even seen her in weeks. He couldn't even track her down by her reiatsu, Karin had a much tighter lock on it than her brother ever had. He had tried hanging round in areas he knew she frequented but no luck. Toshiro sighed again and put his phone away. She was completely avoiding him and he had no idea how to get her stop. He didn't want to wait at her house and accost her, this whole thing started because of a violation of her trust, he hardly wanted to contribute to that. He'd already been in the human world a little too long, at this rate he was going to have to go back to Soul Society without having fixed this, merely hoping that it wasn't irreversible.

  
A sudden surge of reiatsu pulled him away from his thoughts. Hollow reiatsu, but not hers. He got up from the park bench and pulled his phone out as he moved towards the area. No notification from Soul Society yet, no tracking information. He'd have to have a word about that, this wasn't the first hollow they completely missed coming to the human world. He wondered if the shinigami stationed here was even good enough to track hollows without the technological help. He left his gigai and started flashstepping towards the hollow, a little concerned that he couldn't feel said shinigami's reiatsu yet, evidently lagging behind. Another conversation to have with Soul Society. His head snapped up when he felt another hollow's reiatsu surge up. _Hers_.

  
By the time he got there the hollow had been dealt with, dissipating, Karin turning back to her usual self already. Her eyes flicked up to see him for a split-second before she spun round, starting to the leave. Toshiro flashstepped in front of her, stopping her. He watched as her jaw tightened and she tensed up, clearly angry but _still_ not meeting his eyes. “Karin-”

  
“Get out of my way.”

  
“Karin-”

  
She cut him off again, side stepping away from him to walk away. He grabbed her wrist, ignoring how her nostrils flared. She hadn't pulled away just yet, he knew she could if she wanted to, she was letting him do this. “Can we just talk about what happened?”

  
She kept her head turned away from him. “Fuck no.”

  
He gripped her a little tighter, afraid she was going to try and run after all. “Look, I know I shouldn't have reacted like that, I know that I, my reaction must've made you uncomfortable-”

  
Karin finally, _finally,_ looked him in the eyes as she interrupted him, her voice practically venomous. “God shut _up_. None of this is your fault and you know that. It's all me. Well, _her_. Don't you dare get all guilty over something you didn't even fucking do.”

  
Toshiro studied her face, easily spotting the hurt and embarrassment behind the anger. “You didn't do anything either Karin. I don't think you can be reasonably blamed for your hollow not relinquishing control back to you against your wishes.”

  
Karin shook her head, still infuriated. “I should've-, fuck if I had just...” She dropped the line of thought, turning her attention back to him. “I'm leaving.”

  
Toshiro immediately re-tightened the hold he had on her wrist. “No wait-”

  
She sighed angrily. “What do you _want_ Toshiro?”

  
And well, wasn't that a question?

  
He stared at her for a moment. He wanted a lot of things. He had no idea how to put any of it into words. “I want you.” The second it came out of his mouth he knew it was a mistake, even more so when he caught sight of Karin's face turning into a snarl, gearing up to unleash words he didn't want to hear. He quickly spoke up again before she could start. “In my life again I mean. You're...You're one of my closest friends, if not the closest, I just want you back in my life and talking to me again, that's all.”

  
She stared at him, eyes darting across his face. “That's all?”

  
Toshiro looked her in the eyes while he lied through his teeth. “That's all.”

  
Karin doesn't believe him. He hates that he can read her so well. He _knows_ she doesn't believe him. He mentally gears up for a fight, confused when he watches her shoulders drop instead.

  
She sighs. “Even after...Even after all that? Everything she said to you, you still wanna be friends?”

  
Toshiro felt his stomach squirm at the implications of her words. He knows what she's doing, she's putting a clear wall between what her hollow said and what she'll allow to happen. He hasn't wanted to be 'friends' with her for a while, and he's sure that she probably knows it too, but it's not on the table, she's made that clear. It's probably for the best anyway. A shinigami-human relationship is doomed to fail by nature. He knows that. _He does_. But he's not ready for Karin to walk out of his life yet. He doesn't want to lose her. And he can be friends with her even if he does have feelings for her, even if he does want her. He's done it for years, they both have, as it turns out. Just because it got out in the open doesn't mean things have to change.

  
He nods. “I do.”

  
She looks at him. Really looks at him. Toshiro tries not to tense up. She pulls her wrist out of his grip so she can fiddle with her hands. “Ok...Ok. If we're gonna be friends, if we're gonna go back to the way we were...I er, I need to you forget the whole thing. With her. I _need_ you to pretend like it never happened. Because I _never_ would've...you know?”

  
Toshiro's stomach squirms again. “Never?”

  
She looked at him like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Yeah of course. I mean you and me, we'd never work out. I fully intend to be a human for as long as I can, I have stuff I wanna do, wanna accomplish, I am not about to run off to Soul Society for some boy. Er, no offence.” At least she had the decency to wince at her own words, Toshiro supposed. “So yeah, obviously I'd never tell you, even if you did like me back, why would I put myself through a relationship that could never last?”

  
Toshiro gritted his teeth as discreetly as he could. At this point he's pretty damn sure she _knows_ he has feelings for her, she could've been a little kinder. He shakes his head at himself, takes a moment to calm down. Just because it hurts, just because it makes his skin itch, just because it claws at him, doesn't mean she's not right. He knows they wouldn't work out. Of course they wouldn't. They could be the perfect couple and they'd still be screwed over by the fact that he's a shinigami and she's a human. It wouldn't work. He ignores the voice in his head that reminds him that Karin's very existence is due to a shinigami-human relationship.

  
“You're right.”

  
Karin's eyes narrow a fraction at the tone voice, how Toshiro hesitated to respond to what she said. Freezes when she hears the familiar snarky voice talking to her. “ _Told you he liked you. And now you're friends again, that'll go well._ ”

  
Karin's eyes narrowed further. “Shut up.”

  
Toshiro raised an eyebrow. “Huh?”

  
Karin's mouth dropped open for a split-second before embarrassment took over her face. ”Ah, no not you, her. I er, didn't mean to say it out loud. Sorry.”

  
“Oh...Everything ok?”

  
Karin nodded immediately. “Yeah it's fine, it'll be fine.”

  
Toshiro wondered who she was trying to convince, him, her hollow, or herself.


End file.
